We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
