I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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