so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
