a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
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