will power is for people who don't want to get laid
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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