I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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