Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
