WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
