u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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