Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
