Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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