I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
