I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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