So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize