She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
