my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
