so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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