I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Randomize
