my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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