Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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