we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I cut my penus on the lid.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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