We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
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