I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
he puts the penis in happiness.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
