it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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