You're my little dorito
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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