happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
