yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
