That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
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