you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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