so that wasnt chicken after all
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
