Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
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I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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