So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Randomize
