The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
