OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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