oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
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