Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
