dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
