try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
