I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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