But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
