Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
