I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize