So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
