can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
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