the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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