I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
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