And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
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