Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
