just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
