I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize
