I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Say something about gay babies.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
