is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize