New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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