I puked a lego.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
