it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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