In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
