So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize