you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
