honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
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She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
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I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
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