My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
