OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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