bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
