Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
These tits shall not be calmed
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
