so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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