I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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