Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
