So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
This is classic penis vs brain.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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