Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
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my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
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My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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