She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
