We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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