i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Randomize
